Entourage. I am going to marry Adrian Grenier. Game Over.
It has been a while since I have written in here.
-D.bag and the nympho allegedly had a threesome with the PMSPresidente. Gross? He came over to "pick up PD's chiense wkbk to copy" but ended up staying for an hour to talk about it. He can be such a woman. I wanted to be like "You wanna hug it out?" good god. I'm starting to get over him... the respect is slowly falling.. BUT I still want his attention. I am not sure whats up with that.
-I am ready to leave for China.
-I GOT MY INTERNSHIP IN DC THIS SUMMER!
-Im sick of couples. I will bitch about them 24-7 but secretly want a relationship. Oh the joys of being a girl.
-I got yelled at for Denim today. I bought 3 pairs of 7 jeans, 1 pair of Rock and Republic, and 1 pair of Chip & Pepper. <3
Monday, March 26, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Mutual Usage
I feel so accomplished. I have done sooo much hw the past two nights. Its crazy
I had an apathetic convo with d.bag during the day.. then cracked and talked to him to him tonight. It was good and bad. lol
Im going to hook up with Hulk tonight. (thats what my suitemate calls him.. the hulk. haha) He is a huge manwhore... but i guess it is alright if we are BOTH using eachother. haha right? reassurance would be grand!
I had an apathetic convo with d.bag during the day.. then cracked and talked to him to him tonight. It was good and bad. lol
Im going to hook up with Hulk tonight. (thats what my suitemate calls him.. the hulk. haha) He is a huge manwhore... but i guess it is alright if we are BOTH using eachother. haha right? reassurance would be grand!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Im Soarin', Flyin'...
...there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach.
-so im done with the d.bag... for today. :-P
-My friend Dona may be coming to China with me next year. Its good and bad. Good because It will be amazing to have another girl there to hang out with so I wont have to rely on the boys, bad bc the boys dont like her. I'll see how much I can take. This girl has been nothing but nice to me so Im all for giving her a fair shot.
-had to give a statement for the sorority today. :( good lord I dont want to be involved.
-I want a vespa. I wish I knew what the regulations are for moped in China. Can a foreigner get a drivers liceanse??
-so im done with the d.bag... for today. :-P
-My friend Dona may be coming to China with me next year. Its good and bad. Good because It will be amazing to have another girl there to hang out with so I wont have to rely on the boys, bad bc the boys dont like her. I'll see how much I can take. This girl has been nothing but nice to me so Im all for giving her a fair shot.
-had to give a statement for the sorority today. :( good lord I dont want to be involved.
-I want a vespa. I wish I knew what the regulations are for moped in China. Can a foreigner get a drivers liceanse??
Its Three AM and I want to go to beeeed...
...I've got this lady.. runnin through my heaaaad. -O.A.R.- (amazing song)
So- It is actually 4:01 am and you know what? I'm apathetic to D.Bag. I can't stop thinking about China next year. It's going ot be so much fun! I was reading a Blog on here, ChinaDirt, which talks about the dating scene over there.. doesnt sound much better than in Good Old U.S. Of A. but hey- change witll be good.
Just finished anEnglish paper, had a hilarious convo with a Russian exchange student, and looked at smartcars and mopeds online. Ohh College.
So- It is actually 4:01 am and you know what? I'm apathetic to D.Bag. I can't stop thinking about China next year. It's going ot be so much fun! I was reading a Blog on here, ChinaDirt, which talks about the dating scene over there.. doesnt sound much better than in Good Old U.S. Of A. but hey- change witll be good.
Just finished anEnglish paper, had a hilarious convo with a Russian exchange student, and looked at smartcars and mopeds online. Ohh College.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
There is Beauty in the Breakdown.
So it has been a few days. Bullet points of randomness-
-D.Bag told me that "i should probably get over him or else its going to be a long year in China." Wow. Self-absorbed much? This was after I saw him holding hands drunkenly with a girl on my floor. cute. If there were no mixed messages this owuld be easy but the boy likes to keep it so I always think I have a chance. F-That. I have 6 months until China. So 6 months to be around all american boys. Im taking advantage of it. Then in China- I am going to def take advantage of the situation over there. I'm sorry d.bag but you better get used to not having me around or else its going to be one lonngg year in China. :-P
-Sorority hit the fan. Dont want to post all of it, but hazing investigations? good god.
-Confession: yestrday I was so hung over I didnt get out of bed until 9:20 pm.... and that was only to shower so I could go out and drink again. :)
-D.Bag told me that "i should probably get over him or else its going to be a long year in China." Wow. Self-absorbed much? This was after I saw him holding hands drunkenly with a girl on my floor. cute. If there were no mixed messages this owuld be easy but the boy likes to keep it so I always think I have a chance. F-That. I have 6 months until China. So 6 months to be around all american boys. Im taking advantage of it. Then in China- I am going to def take advantage of the situation over there. I'm sorry d.bag but you better get used to not having me around or else its going to be one lonngg year in China. :-P
-Sorority hit the fan. Dont want to post all of it, but hazing investigations? good god.
-Confession: yestrday I was so hung over I didnt get out of bed until 9:20 pm.... and that was only to shower so I could go out and drink again. :)
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Come Out Virginia...
...dont let me wait. The catholic girls start much to late, ohhh but sooner or later it comes down to fate....
Yes- I'm willing to admit... I like being angelic. I like not doing to many things wrong. I like that when I do something wrong, people notice- people gte concerned. The pills and alcohol? I had everyone worried. The eating issue? People up in arms again... the difference is.. I know I am a good kid and do not f-up often. I know tha tI am okay so it can be funny watching people freak out. And then you reach a turning point....
The turning point was when the freakouts became constant and annoying. I cannot take listening to PD yell at me and threaten me. I do not have any dependency and addiction problems with ANY of my vices... I have to pretend like I understand. I have to pretend like I understand where he is coming from and have to pretend like I am genuinly concerned for myself. I think that I play the part well. I think they are all convinced. They are convinced that they have convinced me that I have a problem... the difference is.. even if they do not know it.. I am still winning. I do not believe a word they say. Is it horrible not to trust your friends? I do not trust a single one. Everyone besides possibly PD has betrayed me or hurt me in some way... and once you have done something against me once.. I will remember it. I hold grudges. Flaw. I got it. That.. right there.. that is considered a problem. The other things are just me being young and crazy.
Yes- I'm willing to admit... I like being angelic. I like not doing to many things wrong. I like that when I do something wrong, people notice- people gte concerned. The pills and alcohol? I had everyone worried. The eating issue? People up in arms again... the difference is.. I know I am a good kid and do not f-up often. I know tha tI am okay so it can be funny watching people freak out. And then you reach a turning point....
The turning point was when the freakouts became constant and annoying. I cannot take listening to PD yell at me and threaten me. I do not have any dependency and addiction problems with ANY of my vices... I have to pretend like I understand. I have to pretend like I understand where he is coming from and have to pretend like I am genuinly concerned for myself. I think that I play the part well. I think they are all convinced. They are convinced that they have convinced me that I have a problem... the difference is.. even if they do not know it.. I am still winning. I do not believe a word they say. Is it horrible not to trust your friends? I do not trust a single one. Everyone besides possibly PD has betrayed me or hurt me in some way... and once you have done something against me once.. I will remember it. I hold grudges. Flaw. I got it. That.. right there.. that is considered a problem. The other things are just me being young and crazy.
In the begining there was....
A girl.
And this chick was hella frusterated with life, sororities, boys, the United States, dorm food, some friends, some family, some mirror images, fatigue, and boys. (yes- boys twice just for emphasis)
So- I dropped my sorority. Health. China. Sleep. School. Love. Life. There are my reasons.
So heres the thing. This is for me to be honest.... but not too honest. Im not one of htose people that wants this to get me in trouble later in life...
Lets start with yesterday- so i dropped...yes.. and i found out that im going to China. I am studying in Shanghai and teaching english. Amazing? yes.. but of course there is a problem.... The company i will be keeping while im there. we have.. 1)me 2)random girl #1 3)random boy #1 4)nympho 5)douchebag #1 6)pseudo-dad (PD for short)
Nympho I can take... he is funny and will be annoying after a while but not to bad. the randoms are fine.. PD is going to hamper my fun i know it. just wait... and then there is d.bag--> you better believe there is a history there.
Yes. i want to hook up with him again. I cant deny it. Yes. i want to stay best friends with him. Yes. this is a problem. We talk about hooking up again after a few drinks.... but sober i dont know if he thinks about it. Hell.. I do. haha Maybe he does.. Now before you go writing prescriptions for what to do.. you have to understand that this is no ordinary boy. Lets start here: he doesnt like sex. Is there more to add here? Oh yes there is--he has slept around. That secretly bothers me but I would never tell him. He may already know. I dont do that AT ALL but i dont want to judge. (although i do) I know that if anything ever happened between us, I would constantly feel uncomfortable that he would be comparing me to other girls he has been with. Yes, I know. Dumb. I'm 19. Im allowed to be dumb about some things. At the same time- I feel more comfortable with him, more so than any other guy I have thought about hooking up with. Why is this? Why do i have to feel safe with the one person who is most likely to hurt me? His selfishness is ridiculous... and I know that he would always put himself before others (friends, gf's everyone) but I keep hoping htat I might get through to him. wishful thinking.
And this chick was hella frusterated with life, sororities, boys, the United States, dorm food, some friends, some family, some mirror images, fatigue, and boys. (yes- boys twice just for emphasis)
So- I dropped my sorority. Health. China. Sleep. School. Love. Life. There are my reasons.
So heres the thing. This is for me to be honest.... but not too honest. Im not one of htose people that wants this to get me in trouble later in life...
Lets start with yesterday- so i dropped...yes.. and i found out that im going to China. I am studying in Shanghai and teaching english. Amazing? yes.. but of course there is a problem.... The company i will be keeping while im there. we have.. 1)me 2)random girl #1 3)random boy #1 4)nympho 5)douchebag #1 6)pseudo-dad (PD for short)
Nympho I can take... he is funny and will be annoying after a while but not to bad. the randoms are fine.. PD is going to hamper my fun i know it. just wait... and then there is d.bag--> you better believe there is a history there.
Yes. i want to hook up with him again. I cant deny it. Yes. i want to stay best friends with him. Yes. this is a problem. We talk about hooking up again after a few drinks.... but sober i dont know if he thinks about it. Hell.. I do. haha Maybe he does.. Now before you go writing prescriptions for what to do.. you have to understand that this is no ordinary boy. Lets start here: he doesnt like sex. Is there more to add here? Oh yes there is--he has slept around. That secretly bothers me but I would never tell him. He may already know. I dont do that AT ALL but i dont want to judge. (although i do) I know that if anything ever happened between us, I would constantly feel uncomfortable that he would be comparing me to other girls he has been with. Yes, I know. Dumb. I'm 19. Im allowed to be dumb about some things. At the same time- I feel more comfortable with him, more so than any other guy I have thought about hooking up with. Why is this? Why do i have to feel safe with the one person who is most likely to hurt me? His selfishness is ridiculous... and I know that he would always put himself before others (friends, gf's everyone) but I keep hoping htat I might get through to him. wishful thinking.
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